Since wz wants to to blog about the note, here it is. HE WROTE ME A NOTE!!!!!!!!!
Okay that’s all LOL. A bananaskinpeels started following me, and it’s jinkfoo zomg. So hi. There’s a million undiscovered tumblrs out there I tell you.
1. Gotten - Slash ft Adam Levine.
2. Don’t Cry - Guns N…
SLASH IS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
So there was chinese mid-year today. And the only thing i can say about it is 1 PAGE COMPO FAIL ALREADY HAHA.
What’s left is the aftermath.
You know,
Somehow being the victim wasn’t enough was it
Only when you feel the piercing glares we get, down our backs
Maybe only then will you understand.
“Being hurt is one thing, but to gather masses to amplify your anger, create hatred. That’s another thing entirely.”
“Just go on steady, I’ll try to catch up” he told me, always, before we left.
Something that was in the comprehension passage of the chinese paper today.
Go on steady everyone, your joy, your warmth. I’ll be gladly catching up.
A million little pieces, we’ve broken in two
A million little pieces, I stole it from you
A million little pieces
A million little pieces to start
I apologised. Not sure if it’s enough though. I know that things are kind of already beyond repair, but well, at least i apologised. I’ll say it, keep saying that it was a spur of the moment. But whether you decide to believe me or not, it is your choice.
Two-faced. Well, i can add that to one of the things i’ve been called now.
Two-faced means to be deceitful or hypocritical. I don’t know how i was being deceitful. I mean, when i sent those apology texts, i really did mean them, but, somehow maybe you didn’t think so. Maybe you thought “Oh he thinks like that about me all the time, he’s just trying to make a pathetic attempt to lie to me”. 5 was obviously not enough to relieve the hurt i caused, but, I’m just glad that you were willing to listen to me explain in the end.
Hypocritical means to pretend to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles. To feign some desirable or publicly approved attitude. Unless you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly a ‘people person’. I don’t go around trying to be popular, to be noticed so that I can gain more friends. I don’t know how you came to the conclusion that I am a hypocrite, but I won’t know unless you decide to tell me one day.
Superficial, means skin deep. I do not comprehend how two people can evolve from being just friends, to close friends if their friendship was skin deep. And if it ever was, I don’t know how these friends can even get worried in the first place if the friendship was so insignificant to them.
And if ranting about something or someone in a moment of frustration, anger or irritance is stabbing them in the back, then i don’t know if anyone isn’t a backstabber. I’m not justifying what i did, but if this is really the case, almost everyone has just been stereotyped.
If I’m not wrong, half the sec 4 cohort already knew about this situation on the day itself, even when neither of the two of us breathed a single word to it to many people. And the worst thing is that I, and her had to face judging eyes and cold stares from people we used to know, barely knew.
I admit though, you were the victim when it happened..
You and I both know, that things cannot be the same again. We said it to each other that night. I’m just glad that, this misunderstanding has been sort of cleared. I’m glad that we can talk now, at least.
All I have to say is, before anyone decides to judge, please learn the full story before you decide to do anything. Because interfering when you don’t know the full story is like charging onto the battlefield without knowing what’s going on. You would just add on to the casualty count.
I never doubted you as a loyal friend, I never did. We will never be as close anymore, but I really liked what we had while it lasted.
Something i typed on monday, that had a sense of foreboding to it.
“Judging eyes. Don’t you wish they would feel as you do while they looked…”
I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’ve become a social awkward, eccentric. I don’t know how to react anymore. Smiling. Perhaps it has become some sort of sick reflex action. No matter humorous or not, it reveals itself. Even if there’s nothing worth smiling about, it still appears. Perhaps it has become a bluff, a mask that just hides and conceals what I’m truly feeling. To be honest, yesterday when Cherly broke down from guilt for joining in tripping Leobo, it appeared. I don’t know why, but it just did. And deep inside, I was just confused. I knew that it was my fault but. I don’t know. It didn’t show. Not at all. Maybe I got some sort of sick satisfaction from the whole ordeal. Maybe its… I don’t know anymore. There’s something wrong with me. Definitely. Do I even know myself anymore? I guess no one can answer that question but me. How can I though, with all these internal conflicts within. Maybe, i forgot how to truly smile. And once again, sorry Leobo. Sorry if i appeared unconcerned and somewhat not guilty and happy. I don’t even know why. Even if you say its okay, I’m still perturbed by my reaction to the whole incident. And i still owe you 8 bucks.
“Hated? Well, I guess I am.”
A pounding in my head. Frustraton. A voice saying, “you haven’t done enough; are you sure you’re even ready?” Doubts. An unsettling silence. A boy, curled up at the corner. A dark room. A dagger. He stretches out for it. “Do it.” a voice said, and at the very same time, “Don’t.” another screamed. He pulled it closer. Would this stop the pain? The sadness, the misery. Just, just this once. This one thing and everything would be over. Hesitation. “There’s nothing to worry about… Do it.” He couldn’t hear anymore. That voice screaming out to him, begging, pleading him to stop. The sharp tip against his chest. “Release me..” With that, he pulled it in and embraced what was coming. Sweet, sweet death. Crimson red flowed, down his pale, lifeless skin. Staining, and leaving, forevermore-
Strange maze, what is this place?
I hear voices over my shoulders.
Nothings making sense at all.
Wonder, why do we race?
And every day were running in circles.
Such a funny way to fall
I like it better when it hurts
Oh I have waited here for you
I have waited
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream
Crush you like a sparrow
Leaving you to never mend.
Leave you for another
Break your little heart in two.
Used to come around here every day
Now you’re breaking
Used to be the one that is not ashamed
Now you shaming
So far this love is all I have
So far this hurt is all I have
Missing person at the window
I wonder where you are
Wonder where you are.
